How Life Coaching Helps Young Adults Manage Phone Addiction

As industry leading Life Coaches for young adults, and parents of our own teens and young adults, the topic of how to best manage and overcome technology addiction, and other distractions that hold our kids back, is a constant! 

I realize this may sound a bit extreme, but it crosses my mind all the time - I often wonder why we hand our kids phones, when it's very much like handing drugs and alcohol to an underdeveloped young person and saying, "Here you go! Hope you don't get too addicted!" And we watch, often feeling helpless, as they drift away from their creativity and personal growth. Yet we do it all the time, hand them phones I mean:) And believe me I'm not passing judgement - my kids have phones too and have since about age 13, against following my own intuition!

We are all in this together my friends and for many of the same reasons -

• We want to keep track of our kids
• We want them to be able to stay in touch with us
• They would feel left out without a phone
• They go between two houses and it's just necessary

And the list goes on!  And once those wheels are put into motion, the power struggles are real, and often just too exhausting to keep up with on a daily basis. I know I've tried so many different tactics with my own kids to create boundaries around screen time, and they work for a while until school or sports schedules change, which is all the time! Phew, it's tiring just writing about it! 

Here is what we have learned are some of the keys to helping young adults manage phone addiction. 

So it's one of those things in life - it is what it is. BUT, we don't have to feel helpless as parents, and our kids don't have to be slaves to phone addiction and other harmful distractions. Here's what we've learned from coaching thousands of teens and young adults, and working with their parents. When parents or caregivers point out what's not working, what's distracting, what's not good for them, kids tend to become defensive, resentful, roll their eyes at you, or learn to drown you out. And there's nothing more frustrating than knowing that your advise and suggestions come from a lifetime of wisdom and experience, and your kids think you're crazy, don't get it, or at best are annoying. 

The truth is that our kids do respect us, and our life experience, but young adults are hungry for autonomy and independence, they want to carve their own path and find their own voice. Yes, all young adults want this, and if your child isn't showing signs of this, it's most likely because they feel stuck or overwhelmed. Something we learned early on and pretty organically working with young adults, is that once they begin to truly understand who they are from within and what's really important to them in their lives, then and only then do they start to notice for themselves, what's distracting them or holding them back from reaching their meaningful goals and becoming the best version of themselves. 

This can take a little time and we tell parents all the time to trust the process! It looks like this:

• Who am I? What are my passions, values, and signature ingredients? 

   We teach young adults how to slow down and go within, as they begin to identify and connect with deeper parts of themselves, such as their values, passions, curiosities, strengths, and challenges, they begin to build an unshakable inner confidence and a deeper sense of self.

• Where am I going? What is my direction and purpose? 

   Once kids have a clearer sense of self, what makes them special and unique, then they begin creating a detailed vision for their future, getting massive clarity about what and who's important to them, and cultivating a blueprint to carry this vision out.  

• How will I make it happen? What meaningful goals, habits, and mindset do I need? 

   Now they can begin learning how to set meaningful goals for themselves, and the process it takes to make them a reality!

• Focus Blocks. How do I better navigate my distractions and focus on what's important? 

  This is the fun part! With goals now set in place and knowing how to plan out their days and weeks using what we call Focus Blocks, what quickly happens is that our clients start to come face to face with their biggest obstacles and distractions, and seeing for themselves how detrimental these are to their well-being and future.  

When we talk about this during our weekly group meetings, almost without fail, each young adult shyly admits their 2-3 biggest distractions, 95% of the time they say it's their phones and other big answers are their own negative thinking, friends, and fear of rejection. And there's something about them realizing this on their own terms, owning it, and truly seeing how these distractions are holding them back from bringing their vision and meaningful goals to life, that make them want to understand and learn strategies for how to manage and get control over them. 

To learn more about how we help young adults find their Purpose read here. 

About the Coach:

Erin Verdis is a leading Life Coach For Teen & Young Adults and Parents. She is passionate about sharing her own life experiences to empower others and help them find their resilience and purpose. Erin is the co-creator of the Extraordinary Purpose Life Coaching Program for Teens and Young Adults, which has helped transform the lives of over one thousand teens and young adults (and their parents). Erin comes from the Mohawk Nation & Wolf Clan and much of her motivation and coaching stems from her Native American cultural background. She is a published poet and essayist & an avid journal and memoir writer. Erin lives with her husband, Chris, her two kids, River and Skylar, and loves to cook and clean (most of the time:), being in nature camping & hiking, the gym, reading, and traveling with her family.