How to Help Teens and Young Adults Become Their Own Best Friend

Hey there, 

We talk to so many teens and young adults every day who don't yet know who they are, who don't believe in themselves, who judge themselves every step they take, who beat themselves up for almost everything that they say or do, who don't think they have what it takes to do important things, who don't think they are worth anything to anybody, and who hold themselves back from being the beautiful and incredible person that they are. 

And in every case, it's not because they are lazy, depressed, unmotivated, distracted, or just don't care. These are just some of the many symptoms of the underlying problem. Erin and I have found that it's primarily because of the way that they talk to (and treat) themselves - their internal dialogue.

Too many teens and young adults spend the majority of their time with an internal voice that is holding them back, holding them down, and keeping their authentic and true self from coming out. And the longer that this goes on, the more they begin to believe the voices are true. 

• "You're not good enough"
• "You can't do this" 
• "It's too hard"
• "You're so stupid"
• "You don't have what it takes"
• "They are going to judge you"
• They aren't going to like you"
• "Let's stay in bed" 
• "I don't feel like it"

And these constant voices are what drain their motivation, energy, and confidence. And the longer it goes the more our children lose connection with who they really are, and what they are capable of. I think as adults we can attest to this!

But the big question that we ask the teens and young adults that we coach is -  is this how you would talk to your best friend or someone that you love? And every single time we ask this the answer (with a shy smile) is a resounding  "No!". 

If your best friend was feeling down, was struggling with something, or had a big goal that they wanted to achieve, would you talk so negatively and hurtful to them? Or would you say you love them, that things are going to get better, that you are here for them, that they can absolutely do this, that they are strong and amazing, and that you have their back no matter what. 

What difference do you think that voice and message would have on them? 

We call this process that we coach on and teach our clients "Becoming your own best-friend",  and once Teens and Young Adults learn how to turn negative self-talk into more empowering and loving dialog with themselves, their belief and confidence begins to soar, and the other voices begin to fade into the background. As adults I think we can agree that our relationship with ourselves is by far the most important relationship we can nurture throughout our lives.

Let's help our children find and deeply connect with their authentic  voice, learn to love themselves, and become their own best friend!

With Love, 

Erin and Chris