Become a Powerful Influence for Your Kids

It's so easy to get hooked (or triggered) by our thoughts and feelings about our children's behaviors, choices, etc. Everything from how they spend their time, who they spend their time with, their communication (or lack thereof), their grades, their habits. We care so deeply about these things because we want the absolute best for our kids. The truth that we all need to hear is that it's 100% normal to have thoughts of judgement, frustration, disappointment, anger, etc. with our children. Having these thoughts are part of life and more specifically a part of being a loving parent who wants the best for their child. However, it's how we respond to these thoughts that can make all the difference towards how we show up, connect, and support our children.

Our shared purpose as parents is to raise our kids so that they can figure out who they are so that they can go out and do incredible things in their lives. Each of them has that unique potential, and it's an awesome responsibility we all feel to help them achieve it. So when these moments happen when you feel that they are not on that path or living up to that standard, we can get hooked by our thoughts and react in ways that might not always be the most helpful and supportive.

So how can we navigate these challenging moments (and the thoughts and feelings that come with them)? How can we create a space in these moments with our children so that we are showing-up the way that best represents the parent, friend, and mentor that we want to be for them? A simple ritual that I practice over and over again (and that we coach our clients to do) is to check-in with yourself and notice these thoughts showing-up throughout the day. Just noticing them helps to give you perspective and see things more clearly. It disconnects you from the thought and slows things down just enough to create a sacred space where you can connect with what's important.

Once you connect with what's important, you can make the choice of how to best show up for your child in that moment.

Maybe it's listening with acceptance and love instead of acting out of anger, maybe it's doing or saying something from the perspective of someone who was once a young adult who made their fair share of mistakes (like me), maybe it's asking them questions to help better understand what they are feeling or what's important to them, or maybe it's noticing that now isn't the right time to say or do anything at all. Here is the simple truth, that just giving yourself that choice is the real power, and the real opportunity for us to be a positive force of light in our young adults lives.

Feel free to share in this powerful sacred space what thoughts, feelings, and emotions you have had recently that have caused you not to show up the best for your child. Let us then help each respond in ways that helps us connect and influence our amazing kids so that they can be everything that they are capable of being.