2 Foundational Pillars To Help Your Teen Cultivate Inner Confidence!

 Authentic and intrinsic confidence in teens is a learned behavior.

It's something that we as human beings can cultivate through understanding ourselves on a deeper level and life experiences. This unshakable inner confidence is what every parent wants for their kids, to walk out the door each day feeling certain of:

• Who they are,
• Treating others with compassion and kindness
• Knowing who and what is good for them to make bold and empowering choices
• And most of all loving themselves as their own best friend.

And as expert Life Coaches who work with Teens everyday, we have found a big piece to this puzzle is teaching them how to become aware of their internal and external environments, and to take inventory of what's working for them and moving them forward towards their meaningful goals, what's keeping them stuck, and what's taking them down.

Let me explain.

A lot of people hear the word environment and think of either our climate, the earth, or our cultural environment. Some people get that our environment can also include the places where we spend a lot of time - our home, our car, our work place, school, etc. Here at Extraordinary Purpose we spend a lot of time focusing and coaching on the importance of understanding one's environments, identifying how both their internal and external environments impact them, and the empowering tools to begin creating the environments that will support, motivate, and inspire our clients to become the best version of themselves!

So here are the 2 Foundational Pillars to Help Your Teen Cultivate Inner Confidence!

Your External Environment

Where We Spend Our Time: 

Our first focus is on the spaces in your life that you have control over - places like your bedroom, other rooms in your home, perhaps your car, desks and lockers at school, and yes even your work environment. These are spaces that you can decide how clean and organized they are, what kind of energy they bring you, and change rather easily what isn't serving you.

These spaces should create positive feelings of inspiration, motivation, organization, and peace. It is an absolute fact that our external environments have a great impact on how we feel emotionally, mental clarity, and an overall organized inner world. As you can imagine - this cultivates an inner confidence for teens because they feel more empowered and in control of their lives!

What We Do With Our Time:

These next two sections are not typically thought of as aspects of our external environment, but they make ALL the difference in building intrinsic confidence and feeling more in control of your life. Becoming mindful and aware of what you're doing with your time is the first step in recognizing if your behaviors and actions are serving you, moving you closer towards your dreams, goals, and future vision, or keeping you stuck and stagnant.

Once our teens get clear on their meaningful goals and create the blueprint to reach them, they quickly realize that how they spend their time is imperative to how successful they are. Mindlessly playing video games, scrolling on their phones for hours, too much time unintentionally hanging out with friends, or too much time feeling isolated, are some of the biggest obstacles our teens struggle with.

Getting out in nature and other spaces the support their energy and uplift them, being intentional and having boundaries around screen time, creating blocks of time to focus on what's truly important to them, and focusing on their personal growth, these are the behaviors and time well spent that leads to self-discovery and authentic confidence. 

Who We Spend Our Time With

This one might be the most important, because who we choose to spend our time with will greatly influence where and how we spend our time, our behaviors, and the quality of our external environment. This can be one of the most challenging pieces of the puzzle for teens, because they really have to be dirt honest with themselves about the friends they keep and groups they choose to be a part of.

Do their friends support them, have similar interests and goals, lift them up and motivate them, or do they intentionally or unintentionally keep them small, stuck, or surrounded by negative energy? We challenge and teach our teens that they have a choice who hang out with, that it's ok and healthy to be unique and shine their own light, and to make sure they surround themselves with friends and people who align with their values and goals.

This will serve them well into their future when considering a work environment, family members, a partner, and other important people and groups they will encounter and choose along their journey.

Your Internal Environment 

What I'm Thinking About

What I'm Feeling

My Inner Dialog

Our internal environment is equally as important, yet often less obvious and not given enough attention when thinking about how our environments influence us. What you think about on a consistent basis, your regular emotional states, and the inner dialog you have about yourself and the outside world, all have a huge impact on the external environments you choose, and how confident, empowered, and motivated you feel.

We are constantly checking in with our teens and asking them if their internal environment is supporting their energy, moving them closer to their goals and vision, being kind and loving, opening them up to curiosity and possibilities? If not then it's time to take some inventory and get intentional about the thoughts they allow to control their mindset, the emotions they choose to direct their behaviors, and creating an inner dialog that is kind, inspiring, and motivating.

Summary

As you can imagine, once you start, even just a little, to become more mindful of how your internal and external environments are influencing and impacting your life, you will become more aware of all the distractions and other obstacles that hold you back and keep you stuck. These 2 Foundational Pillars will not only help your teen navigate their distractions and obstacles, but in the process help them connect with the things that will give them the inner confidence to move forward and thrive.